Becoming Indomitable

In my healing journey my two most helpful tools have been a change in perspective and self-evaluation. My foundation was built on bad habits which grew to places I'd hide in when things got tough, shoving me backwards each time I'd make any progress in my life. I was more concerned about being loved than … Continue reading My Undoing

Growing up is hard without self-realization but I think there comes a point in all our lives when we have to see the aftermath of where each of our choices has brought us. For me, it was a lot of emotional neglect and years of dissociation which left me insecure and struggling to properly take … Continue reading Revamp

It was very important to me to have a life I chose and didn't settle for. People tend to think that my life changed dramatically due to cancer, but that wasn't the case. All my life I have strived to be better and to do that I had to be strategic. People couldn't see my … Continue reading Finding the Will

Once my life finally got better I seemed to fall apart. It's like when someone runs away from danger for an entire night and finally succeeds, they sleep soundly for a few days knowing they're at peace from having outlived the chaos. That's how I felt in every area of my life. I didn't want … Continue reading The Reclusive Companion

It was one of those springs where it felt especially cold in the morning, but, reasonably warm at night. I remember the drastic temperature change one morning after sleeping in my car. The sharpness of the freezing dawn grabbed my face tight and pierced deep into my skin half numbing me, half stabbing me. I … Continue reading Zero

Growing up I often wished I had a tribe. I was alone a lot as a kid and was raised by television. At the time, I deeply wished I had the kind of family who would teach me life skills like: how to be financially independent, coping skills, that I am loved no matter what, … Continue reading Entrenched

I think it was when I started looking at the whole story, not just my story, that the power inside me changed. Before then, I had been heavy with a thick pain that draped over me and seeped inside me, half protecting me, half torturing me. At night I'd cry myself to sleep and then … Continue reading Efflorescence

I've come to believe I live in two separate worlds. The first is one of my general life. It's here that I go to work, shop, eat and go to the gym. This world values you based on how attractive you are, your achievements, your level of education, and your level of wealth. It is … Continue reading Wretched Roots

I have been broken many times in my life. I have felt the heavy breath of death, the consistent ache of loneliness and the echo of insignificance. I assure you, nothing in life hits you harder than vulnerability. When the physical beauty of you is gone and the body you once thought was strong and … Continue reading Reinvention