I've found what matters most in life, is how well we walk through hell, no matter how many times we have to go through it. We all experience some form of suffering and no matter the heaviness, we're forced to bring consistent light to our tragedies, our emptiness, our loneliness, and to our darkness. There … Continue reading Burning Brimstone
Forgiveness
I often forget how long and hard life has been to get where I am today. The many sleepless nights, pain, shame, isolation, and sacrifice I've gone through. Did you know there are about 10,950 days in 30 years? Ten thousand days is an awfully long time to experience dark times. Often, I have to … Continue reading Forgiveness
The Trouble With Dad
My father never tried to get better or to be better. At any time I can remember in my life, even as a very young child, his goals were only to help himself. What I find so interesting about egocentric people is no matter how old they get, they never lose their level of self-absorption … Continue reading The Trouble With Dad
Pushing Through
The problem with healing is its inconsistency. Sometimes I can't see past myself. When I started my healing process, I thought it would be this steady state progression, but in reality, that's not the case. There's some progress for a while, years even, and then stillness. Eventually, I can shift myself forward but it's not … Continue reading Pushing Through
Maintaining Drive
Recently, I was on a resilience panel at work where we had to share ways to reach our goals. They chose several leaders in an effort to boost the culture and motivate employees. We were asked the same standard group of questions which were: 'What motivates you to reach your goals?' 'What motivates you when … Continue reading Maintaining Drive
Getting Out of Survival Mode
When you've come from abuse you don't really know how to be yourself since, for your entire life, being yourself wasn't good enough. The real you had to be hidden or shut off. Our authenticity then becomes who we are supposed to be instead of who we are meant to be. As a result, we … Continue reading Getting Out of Survival Mode
Poisoned Protection
Perhaps the most fascinating thing about us is how we protect ourselves. As we grow and develop so do our strategies to survive and win. When the chips are down in our lives, it's easier to be cunning, self-centered, a liar and a cheater than noble and kind, especially since the people in our lives … Continue reading Poisoned Protection
The Company We Keep
Have you ever heard of Cotard's Syndrome? Those that have it believe parts of their body are missing, that they are dead, dying or don't even exist. They truly believe this and will sometimes hurt themselves thinking they won't feel it since they're dead. Some will refuse to eat for the same reasons. Even when … Continue reading The Company We Keep
Prey
When I was in sixth grade I remember walking through the cafeteria and seeing several pregnant eighth grade girls. This was fairly common at my school, which they were aware of, resulting in several 'safe sex' dances where they'd pass out condoms and try to teach kids to wait until they were much older to … Continue reading Prey
The Blueprint
When our voices are stolen from us, along with our self-worth, it's incredibly hard to push through our perceptions and have confidence. It's easy to see you were robbed of your voice and your power but somehow hard to know you're allowing yourself to remain powerless and unheard. I had to learn to prioritize joy … Continue reading The Blueprint